third place: NOT a snake milker

I remember this one time, back in 19 hundred and ninety nine ....
I worked for a while as a snake milking person.
I used to sit there on show from 10am till 11, and then again from
3pm till about half past (if our snake, Thlid, lasted that long)
It was almost at the entire end of my snake milking career that
it became apparent that ol' Thlid wasn't a snake after all.
This explained the colour and consistency of her milk.
It also explained her name ...
On that faith-ish day, a creature came and smashed down the fence
and ran a rampant mock of the entire place.
Thlid, it turned out she SHOULD have had leggers and this explained
not only her name but why her first and last sets of 'teets' were dryer
than the king of the dry peoples teenage daughter's hair dryer.
One time one of them showed a slight weaping, which in hindsight was
a BAD thing.