coming. December. A new story.

A chapter a day for 31 days.
You'll laugh. You'll go 'hmm'.
You might even find some christmas cheer.
-probably not though.

the untrained child

Camapula came over to say hi, she had her son with her.
Jeremy just flew off the handle and went off on one.
"I will not have that untrained child in my dwellings, here"After the crash Jeremy's two sons drifted from him.
They blamed him for their mothers death.
Jeremy had accepted this to maintain the clean name of his wife,
who was actually the one driving.
She was drunk and Jeremy was passed out in the back.
He awoke to the sound of her singing bat out of hell by meatloaf
and the vision of a tree smashing through the dashboard and
wooding the shit out of her face there.
So as he dragged her from the wreckage and held her tightly in his
fingerless blue arms, he knew he couldn't let her memory be this ....
... so he decided to claim it to be his mistake.
He had never told anyone the truth, and so their sons had
blamed him all these years.
Now, fourteen years later, his new girlfriend, Camapula wanted to
move in .... but he could not sufficiently explain his unwillingness
to accept her unruly child ... but I just thought you should know.
So, you know, that's just between him and us. Don't tell Camapula.
You know, it wasn't just this 'back. story' He also just didn't like
her untrained child.

trick and CHEAT

Carl Redmond dressed up as a Nalien this year.
Maggy, baby Derek and I had to fight him off with lazOR(tm)
Days later we found out that Carl had gotten sick that night, and
it turned out that it was a REAL Nalien. Bloody good thing we shot at
him re:garbless.
Serves 'im right I ses.
grand.

P U N K I M TIME

I never carved before. Now I have though.

Hello there Keith

... Keith you have no teeth.
Do you have a tongue? Hidden among the gums
you have there? I mean, can you lick a lolli?
I hope you can, my friend Keith with no teeth.

Karen Upstream

.... This is Karen, she enjoys watching reality shows about pretty
girls and other ones about tattoo 'parlours'. She also likes coffee
and sometimes tea. Who doesn't really.
Karen Upstream doesn't have a belly button.
She doesn't mind though.

Trick Treater

Gary and Karl

This is Gary. This is Karl.
They are brothers.Gary is 'into the politicing' as their mother tells the neighbours.
"Ma, stop tellin yer woman nex'door about me, will ye." He would
shout at her.
"When I do the politics it's me own business."
Gary never quite understood the POINT of his running for council.
Karl, on the other hand, hated anything politicular and made no
bones about telling Gary ;
"Them politics a'yurs is shite. st'yupih so they are."
One time (as pictured above) Karl swapped Gary's 'Vote Gary'
badge with an 'I'm 5' birthday badge. People all laughed at him and
'd'luted me bleedn p'litical effectiv'nis in the c'munity' - so he wasn't
one to take pokes at his career very lightly.
He ruined this publicity photo that's for sure.
Ultimately Karl was proven (as he often was) to be right.
Gary dropped out of the politics and went to work with his brother
at the birthday badge factory.
Together they lead the company to become the 4th largest producer
of novelty birthday badges in Dublin. I say 'together', Karl had been
doing perfectly well on his own, but Gary still helped a lot.
In the mid 80's it was Karl's idea, however, to start producing novelty
birthday badges for people OVER 13. It was when they notched the
age up to about 21, and then 50 that things took off.
They suddenly became the TOP manufacturer of novelty birthday
badges in Ireland.
Everything seemed dorey hunky (the traditional way 'round)
.... until now .....

Bible 101: the Omen fella

Bible 101: Resurrection