Saturday, 21 June 2008

Lost Again

Yes. Once again, Stephen goes running off into the maze
and gets lost.

Monday, 9 June 2008

idiot child on a pony

Spakie's father thought he was nervous about being
on a pony for the first time.
That wasn't the problem.
Spak was worried about the whisper he heard
from 'fillie' as he walked past to mount up, saying
that he would throw him and then trample his
'stupid fat head.'

Saturday, 7 June 2008


College Students.
The terrorizers of tiny men everywhere.

Every college in every town or city in the WORLD.
No country stands alone in it's innocence.
Our field researcher has found evidence of this
behaviour as early as 1967 in the dormitories at A.D.U.
(Abu Dhabi University)
The first few weeks of every new year, from
September 'til the Tuesday before Halloween, all new
students gather together to have what they call
'fella eating contests'.
If this isn't horrific enough, we are beginning to have
reports from local households near Universities
that little men have gone missing as early as June,
suggesting that these events are more solidly organised
and that SOMEONE is holding these men against their
will' for months on end, fattening and basting
them in time for these 'ritual tastings'.
..... more details at 11.

Thursday, 5 June 2008

tiny men abuse poor Lions

In Ireland we call them 'gurriers'.
You pronounce it guhr-e-ur-s.
It means little feckers, but our parents don't
swear so they had to come up with that.
It's from 'Gour', the old gaelic for 'trouble',
and the Breton word 'heures', meaning fucker or
whore-child. So we devise our word Gurriers
-'little fuckers'.
Here we see some gurriers abusing an old lion
in Dublin zoo.
Isn't it only just shockin.

ginger sphere

I was out in the park there yesterday.
I saw this.
His name is Damien. He's 'a ginger'.
Ginger's are traditionally afraid of the sun,
but are not really nocturnal or anything.
They just think it's the debil or something.
Ginger's are also 'more smarter' than normal
I'm only saying that so that I don't get attacked
by any of them. They aren't really.
Just be careful out there.

Tuesday, 3 June 2008

Bean of Bees

Yes. As you can see in this photo, the legendary 'bean of bees'.
As I've said previously though, now that the team have been
trained to be beards, they'll never again be able to be beaned.

Beardy Bees.

You've heard of the beard of bees. The bath of beans. Even the bath of
bees, but for my next big feat I 'WAS' working on a beard of beans ...
But the bees just kept jumping on the bandwagon, which just made it
look like another beard of bees, and NOT - which it was- a beard of
Beesy beans
... it turns out that once you've trained bees to 'be' the beard, that's
all they want to do.
The bath of bees only worked because I sunk down into it so that my
beard level was below bath level, so basically that was a massive big
beard of bees in a bath.
I still have nightmares about the bath of beards ....
Anyway, so having failed those, and having it pointed out to me that
a 'Bees of beards' doesn't work because that's just a sculpture of some
bees made from beards .... I'm left with only one option ....
Beardy Bees.
You have to get the tinyest 7 blade gillette mini razor
and delicately shave each bee ... within weeks they are all sporting
stubble of great potential .... guiness 'pamphlet of moderately
interesting feats', here I come.

bully hole


Poor little Blondie didn't see it coming. Didn't see THEM coming.
Which wasn't surprising. The little albino lad, with his tiny pink
eyes .... terribly difficult to see two feet in front of him.
Four feet in front of him as it turned out.
He probably shouldn't have been out in the field running
around in the first place.

Sunday, 1 June 2008

Loan for a new goldfish ?

Goldfish ?
We do not give loans for goldfish, young man.
Poor little Milton was So hoping to get a new fush.
Thankfully, though, one followed him home from
the bank later that day.

hamstropolis prisoner

by aBowman