Tuesday, 27 October 2009

Hello there Keith

... Keith you have no teeth.
Do you have a tongue? Hidden among the gums
you have there? I mean, can you lick a lolli?
I hope you can, my friend Keith with no teeth.

Monday, 26 October 2009

Karen Upstream

.... This is Karen, she enjoys watching reality shows about pretty
girls and other ones about tattoo 'parlours'. She also likes coffee
and sometimes tea. Who doesn't really.
Karen Upstream doesn't have a belly button.
She doesn't mind though.

Sunday, 25 October 2009

Friday, 23 October 2009

Gary and Karl

This is Gary. This is Karl.
They are brothers.Gary is 'into the politicing' as their mother tells the neighbours.
"Ma, stop tellin yer woman nex'door about me, will ye." He would
shout at her.
"When I do the politics it's me own business."
Gary never quite understood the POINT of his running for council.
Karl, on the other hand, hated anything politicular and made no
bones about telling Gary ;
"Them politics a'yurs is shite. st'yupih so they are."
One time (as pictured above) Karl swapped Gary's 'Vote Gary'
badge with an 'I'm 5' birthday badge. People all laughed at him and
'd'luted me bleedn p'litical effectiv'nis in the c'munity' - so he wasn't
one to take pokes at his career very lightly.
He ruined this publicity photo that's for sure.
Ultimately Karl was proven (as he often was) to be right.
Gary dropped out of the politics and went to work with his brother
at the birthday badge factory.
Together they lead the company to become the 4th largest producer
of novelty birthday badges in Dublin. I say 'together', Karl had been
doing perfectly well on his own, but Gary still helped a lot.
In the mid 80's it was Karl's idea, however, to start producing novelty
birthday badges for people OVER 13. It was when they notched the
age up to about 21, and then 50 that things took off.
They suddenly became the TOP manufacturer of novelty birthday
badges in Ireland.
Everything seemed dorey hunky (the traditional way 'round)
.... until now .....

Bible 101: the Omen fella

Bible 101: Resurrection

Bible 101:Noah's Boat

Bible 101: Jeebus Birth

Bible 101: immaculate conception

Thursday, 22 October 2009

Bible 101: Red Sea

Eric and Errik had only just met

... but it felt like they had been holding hands for years. Four years.

Wednesday, 21 October 2009

Saturday, 17 October 2009

Cyril's curious morning

Yes indeed, Cyril awoke to find a very curious sandwich at the foot
of his foot. What a dilemma, to eat it? To not to?

Monday, 12 October 2009

voo diddle de what now ?

Two brothers, separated when their parents ate each other, are
lost (one brought up, one practically dragged up) in neighbouring
One is raised with good, 'nice blue voodoo'.
The other raised bad, with
'dark and purple hoodoo', 'and skulls'.
Well, both are raised using skulls, but you know, probably in good
and bad ways respectively.
Raised to hate one another, but along the way they will discover
blood is thicker than water, and that fruit tastes nicer than
raw leg.

This holiday season, go to the cinema and watch:
"Voo diddle de doo"
a buddy movie with hearts (cooked over a nice fire in the jungle)

Friday, 9 October 2009

stripey hat isnit

Nude. Nee-you-d. Nake. Ed.

For my good friend Buxtertinins

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Daniel of the Forest

Alone is the protector of nature. Righteous, yes, but always alone.Daniel, at one with many things, both floral and faunal.
He enjoys the crisp fresh air on this October morning .... but this is
no ordinary October morning .... there is a strange sense of time in
the breeze.
Time ?
Yes. Time. Daniel had this sense of time only once before, and it
was seven years ago, when he was first ripped from his home in
15th century Wapping forest (near enough to Sherwood).
Little Daniel Hat, they thought, had been devoured by a Krummle
- a forest dwelling beast, over FOURTEEN feet tall and covered in
bits of wood and leaves and rabbits and some meat, and a nut.
That's not what had happened though.
What HAD happened was that Daniel Hat had been ripped through
time, to 20th century Epping forest - where he lived alone, these
past seven years.
Now, on the breeze, the smell of time once again draws near ....
Daniel doesn't really know that he time travelled though, since he
is still in a forest ... and being medieval an' all, he simply assumed
that the dreaded Krummle had consumed all his friends.
The sounds of planes and things only confirmed the Krummle's
presence. Families playing and camping ? he thought, were just
an elaborate ruse by said beast (A beast now of cult legend).
So in fact, Daniel Hat, just thought that the Krummle was now
returning, to finish the job he started seven years ago ...

Tuesday, 6 October 2009

Mmm Lazorfinger.

Food of the future.

little Honk, tiny klaum

Smallest of the troop, it's down to little Honk to man the ball.
He HATES manning the ball.His little big klaum feet trip him on nearly exactly half of his
Good thing he doesn't have a nose, else he'd mash it every time.
He wished he was the troop leader's son and all this hardship
would, one day, pay off.
This is not the case, but on the upside, tiny klaum that he is, he
often goes unnoticed when he sneaks out to go to the zoo.
He never gets in, but getting there is half the fun, as they
Honk is a happy enough little fellow, but he SO wishes for more.
He hopes that when the troop leader dies from poisoning
(from the small amounts of phosphorus Honk puts into his tea, by
stirring a match into it every morning) that HE:
Honk Long Jnr. III, will become the new troop leader ...
we shall see ...
In less than seven days, we shall see ....

Thursday, 1 October 2009

the eaters of free range men

They had the land to themselves, since Pop had passed.Orelga and Grenelda, the Fnoog sisters weren't that old, but were
for all intents and purposes, spinters. This didn't bother either
of them in the least, for two different reasons.
Orelga was 31, and four years from spinster status. This would
normally be enough time to salvage ones ladyhood.
Having been kicked by a passing donkey when she was 14, she had
been ... how shall I put it, 'less than fast' ever since.
Her mental state was not one capable of caring for anything
beyond eating little free range men and women.
Grenelda was only a mere 21 summers old and had the spirit of
fire. She was not like her sister, even before the kicking.
An enlightened woman. A modern woman. A woman of the new
world, with hopes of adventure and excitement.
She was a skilled pilot and bivouaceer
(sleeping bag camp sort of thing).
Since the passing of Pop, mother long since gone ahead, she was
Orel's only family. She tried to teach her sister the ways of
adventure, but Orelga chewed through the holding ropes that one
time and they lost the balloon to the wind and the sky.
Gren had known love on occasion, but once the subject of her
beloved sister arose the relationship soon met it's end.
This was always fine with Gren, for adventure was her true love.
Men, a mere temporary distraction.
It was now September, and the hoof had started to leave the range.
Gren plans to teach Orel the ways of mountain climbing.
Her hope; that her sisters 'retard strength' will serve her well in
this pursuit.
We shall see ... we shall see ....

hamstropolis prisoner

by aBowman http://abowman.com/google-modules/