second place: headphone jacker

Merely 14 SECONDS after leaving his cave Morcombe was robbed.
He was away in his own world, fiddling with his MyPod (tm) and there,
up a running, came that wildernal menace, that shameful forest fiend - the headphone jacker.
"muffim duh eaffome yh muffuh fuffah"
"sorry, what?"
"ham um offah fuffa"
"Is that a gun made of wood ? is that YOU there Tom?"
"liffa ..." [rolling up the bottom of his 'clava] ... "give me the earphones"
"OOOHHH, do you mean my headphones ?"
"They're earphones"
"Well, they're more on my head really."
"They're also on your ears, aren't they? now hand them ofer"
".. but now that we're talking I've taken them off my ears but they're
still on my .... " everything went black.
Morcombe woke up some time later, in fact it was dawn that woke him.
The sound of birds and bears pushing trees over in the nearby woods
startled him to awakeys.
"Awe shit"

third place: NOT a snake milker

I remember this one time, back in 19 hundred and ninety nine ....
I worked for a while as a snake milking person.
I used to sit there on show from 10am till 11, and then again from
3pm till about half past (if our snake, Thlid, lasted that long)
It was almost at the entire end of my snake milking career that
it became apparent that ol' Thlid wasn't a snake after all.
This explained the colour and consistency of her milk.
It also explained her name ...
On that faith-ish day, a creature came and smashed down the fence
and ran a rampant mock of the entire place.
Thlid, it turned out she SHOULD have had leggers and this explained
not only her name but why her first and last sets of 'teets' were dryer
than the king of the dry peoples teenage daughter's hair dryer.
One time one of them showed a slight weaping, which in hindsight was
a BAD thing.

Not even TRYING now

I didn't draw it in the picture but …

… it's like he's leaning on something but he's not.
It would have been the arm of a really
(I mean REALLY) comfy couch.

Terry from off the Telly

Yes this is Terry, he tells everyone he's from off the telly, but he's
not.

KLAUM

Marty Mellonfellic, on and off duty

Earboy

An outcast. All the other kids have big ears. Oh the shame.

COP and PUPPET

"God damn it puppet, the D.A. Is up my ass on this particular case.
You have to let me help you buddy""Fuck you, cop, sure you're my partner but you can't always be there
man. I've gotta do this alone this is MY collar"
"Come on puppet, we've been partners for 15 years, I know your wife
and kids man! The feds are just waiting for us to split- we're SO close
on this one we have to do it together"
Etc.
The stakes are always high, but in this instance they are
particularly HiGH.

kinder eggs.

.. advertising them is unnecessary, but if you WANT to ...
sure while you're at it why don't you give me, as a child, the stuff of
nightmares to be going on with, won't you?
Thanks.
THE FEAR
It's even too scary to embed.

one more finger paint.

In Honor of the Plum Tree ... may I present
Scribbleton Ghomez III