Thursday, 29 January 2009

the transubstantiation of ecto matter to purse.

Hauntings are often caused by the dead being miffed at the living.
In this case, in the winter of 1797, Jennifer Plouge (centre) caused
what was described at the time as 'a haunting'.
According to Jennifer, she found a glob of stuff on the kitchen table
and wiped it up. Later that night, she and her sisters had a seance.
They said it failed as the sisters only contacted what appeared to be
the rat that lived under the floor.
The following morning, however, Jennifer found a tiny purslette
upon the kitchen table, where the stuff had been. Assuming that
it was just another fabled 'pixie present' she took it and filled it
with rouge and olden days lady things.
What followed was many days of bangin' and shaking of the kitchen table.At that special time of evening, about five after six, you could see
that it was the ghostly shape of Danny the Tranny who used to
live down past the lake in the old mill.
He had died whilst running outside to catch the icecream horse
and cart as it passed and got his head smashed up from one of
the mills sharper sails. As if that wasn't bad enough ...
... to die, icecreamless, now he was to be tormented by one of the
dirty live-ers playing with his trannysac.
dirty feckin livers.

1 comment:

Spil said...

In the 1990's they started to phase-out ice cream horses because they would usually melt into a quivvering pool of whinnying vanilla-flavoured equine by the end of a long hot day. Even cladding their flanks in giant wafers did little to help.
'Ice Magic' - the hardening chocolate ice cream sauce was used on the nags over night in the 80s-but by morning it would be shattered.
Shattered I tell you.

hamstropolis prisoner

by aBowman